In a world where traditional gender roles
have often placed men in the role of the strong, self-reliant provider, asking
for help can be a daunting prospect. But let's break this down and explore why
it's not just okay but essential for men to express vulnerability and seek
assistance when needed.
My Reluctance to Ask for Help
I've always been the type of guy who
prefers to handle things on my own. Whether it was planning my wedding or
organizing a ruracio (dowry ceremony), I aimed to minimize the help I asked
for. Why? Well, like many men, I've had my fair share of encounters with
criticism.
Growing up, I was conditioned to believe
that asking for help equated to a lack of independence and strength. I didn't
want to be perceived as weak or incapable. This belief led me to shoulder
responsibilities that should have been shared and to hide my struggles even
from those closest to me.
The Fear of Criticism
In today's world, where gossip and judgment
seem to be the order of the day, it's no wonder that many men hesitate to ask
for help. It's almost as if vulnerability has become synonymous with weakness.
The fear of being criticized or ridiculed can be paralyzing, and it often stops
us from reaching out when we most need assistance.
This fear is perpetuated by the stereotypes
and expectations society places on men. We're expected to be tough,
unemotional, and unwavering in the face of adversity. However, these
expectations ignore the reality that men, like everyone else, have their limits
and vulnerabilities.
Current Financial Struggles
Recently, life has thrown me a series of
curveballs. Both my brother and dad have fallen seriously ill, and my business,
which I've poured my heart and soul into, is struggling, hitting its lowest point.
The bills are piling up, from school fees to rent, and it's becoming
increasingly overwhelming. The pressure is immense, and it's not easy to admit
that I'm struggling financially.
I've reached a point where I can no longer
carry this burden alone. The financial strain has taken a toll on my mental and
emotional well-being. It's a humbling experience to acknowledge that I need
help, but it's a necessary step towards finding a solution to my problems.
Is it Wrong to Ask for Help?
As I reflect on my situation, I can't help
but wonder if it's wrong to ask for help, especially as a man. The answer is a
resounding NO! Seeking assistance doesn't undermine our masculinity; instead,
it showcases our ability to recognize when we need support. It's a testament
to our humility and strength of character.
When we ask for help, we break down the
barriers that hold us back from growth and healing. We demonstrate that we are
willing to learn from others and collaborate to overcome challenges. We all
face tough times, and it's essential to remember that there's strength in
reaching out.
Asking for Help Now
So, here I am, reaching out, not just for
sympathy but for practical assistance. I'm seeking business referrals or job
opportunities that can help me meet my financial obligations as a responsible
man. It's not an easy step for me, but it's a necessary one.
I've come to realize that true strength
lies in our ability to adapt and overcome adversity, and that often means
seeking help from our community, friends, and family. It's a sign of maturity
to acknowledge that we can't do it all on our own.
In conclusion, it is not only okay but
commendable for men, like myself, to ask for help when life gets tough. Let's
challenge societal norms that dictate we must be islands of self-sufficiency.
Instead, let's embrace the fact that vulnerability is not weakness but a sign
of our humanity. In doing so, we can find the strength to overcome challenges,
support our loved ones, and grow as individuals.
Remember, even superheroes have their
moments of vulnerability, and it's perfectly okay for us to do the same. It's
time for us to redefine what it means to be a strong Kenyan man – one who
isn't afraid to seek help, learn, and grow through life's ups and downs.
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